I wish that the media would stop their tyrade about how girls should look. Yes, I know guys have this problem too, with the only guys in commercials or magazine ads being seriously muscled, with their shirts off and low-rise jeans to show as much as possible without having to blur anything out.
But girls really do have it harder. I can tell you right know almost every girl size 8 and over have serious issues about their weight, and every girl has had body issues at one point in their life. Yes, the girls who are thin also have issues with their looks, but it's only because anorexia is such an epidemic now, girls who're thin but not athletic-looking are considered anorexic many times.
But what I'm trying to talk about is that large girls, that have curves and love-handles and large droopy breasts and stretched skin and thunder thighs. These girls are beautiful, but media's booming, infecting voice cries, "these girls are not what you are looking for. They think of nothing but food, they are only focused on themselves. look at them, they're disgusting! Models don't look like that, and you want a model, don't you?" These girls and these women are prejudiced for no reason, and feel like they don't deserve happiness. They believe that to be happy, to be truly beautiful, they need thin bodies and perky breasts. I'm not talking about being unhealthily big, but girls that are basically fine, health-wise, even though they are plus-sized. Admittedly, I feel like I'm not very fit, but that doesn't really have much to do with my weight.
I *am* writing this because I'm plus-sized and I have low self-esteem about myself and my body, and refuse to show it off in public (Short-shorts are a no-no). I have stretched skin because I grew very, very fast in a short amount of time. I am tall, and probably 10 pounds overweight, but I've been told that because I'm still a teenager it's more okay. I try working out, but things get in my way (like Curves closing down and moving, damn them) or I make excuses. I'm ashamed of my excess fat on my back and how I'm curvy and a little lumpy. I longed for the thin beauty of my peers, to be accepted more readily by them because I was now "one of them". It isn't that I hated myself, or wished to be yet another sheep in the herd of normalcy, give in to peer pressure or be popular. I accepted most of myself already. But I couldn't accept that my body was created differently, my metabolism was different, everything was different and I could never get that kind of body. I could become fit, lose weight, and all of that. But the way I was built, I'd never be "thin" without looking underfed.
I'm going to do training with a friend as soon as I can, when she isn't busy. I've tried inviting her over but it hasn't been successful. She has a sort of workout routine that really works for her and helps you lose weight and get fit in a few weeks, which'll be great for an impatient person such as myself, but I fear if I can handle it. I also fear if I'll stray from the routine once I learn it. I'll make sure I won't, but I have anxieties.
Hopefully everything will work out.
But anyway, woman of the world, if there is nothing wrong with your health, don't change your body for others! I'm doing this for health reasons, and also I'm a bit of a hypocrite. But I want to look good for myself. I want to improve because I feel like I can. And if I don't, I'll know that I tried, and I did it in a healthy way without changing my diet (though I'm swearing to eat less junk food!) and forcing myself to do something that could damage me long-term.
- Mood:
Lazy - Listening to: Big Girl You Are Beautiuful - Mika
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy
Outraged
Pleased
Exhilarated
